I wish I could update my resume with my new mummy skills. They took me months to learn and no baby book even came close to helping me. Enduring the dreaded witching hour was more stressful than any uni exam or job interview. My problem solving skills were severely tested as my sleep deprived brain struggled with the age old question ‘Why won’t you go to sleep!’.
The first time I heard Samuel l Jackson’s narration of ‘Go the f*ck to sleep’ , I laughed til I cried. Even movie stars weren’t exempt from this pain. So, since this struggle is internationally recognised, it only makes sense that my new mummy skills be recognised as well
Here are a few skills that I’d like to update my resume with:
- I can function for weeks on little or no sleep
- I can multi- task. Examples include navigating a twin pram with one arm through a busy shopping centre while holding a cranky baby and dodging noisy grannies and persistent Dead Sea Cosmetics sales people.
- I can dress an un-cooperative baby in a singlet, 2 layers of clothes, pants, socks and a jumper without losing my cool
- I can sing nursery rhymes all day without stopping
- I can mash a banana into a smooth puree in seconds
There is of course much more that I could add but one of my bosses has woken up and I better check to see why